Swine flu. Run for my life!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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