I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
