Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just google imaged poop.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
