Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
