I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
