Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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