I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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