Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
