My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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