another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
