I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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