His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had to cum in my sink.
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