What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
