i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was like eating out sand paper
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
