About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize