Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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