ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
