I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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