My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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