waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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