i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
