I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
