You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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