End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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