"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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