I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
