i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
