i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No stitches, just platelets and will power
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
