so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
