Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
