apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
