he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
