She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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