Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We left the knife in your bed.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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