Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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