I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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