it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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