Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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