Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
