Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
