You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
