i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
