Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm just crazy horny about you
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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