thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
