He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
