Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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