Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
