waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
