I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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