can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
