I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we have officially lost it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
