Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
