dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize