Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize