The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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