She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
