he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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