Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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